A Remnant, From the Other Side

Torrential sequenced downpour, of depressed emotions,

Animosity within giving way to bestial desires of the flesh.

A blur of random thoughts, harrowing through the empty walls that contain them.

Meaningless melancholy, under a false pretense of you coming back,

To vanquish my demons that haunt me so.

My Shadow laughed at me, though euphemistically, and devoid of the certain scorn

that it sometimes does, when it longs for me to sit beside, and listen to its agony.

Hiding within the corners of my denial lies a beast, surfacing, for that single moment,

of undeterred pleasure and obliviousness to pain and morals and ethics.

I succumb to the lust, beating down, the deluge of fear, that for once seems to take control,

and dissuade the rising rush of another, old man's tale.

As his shouts resurface, I lunge into her vulnerable nest,

the chain of command, followed to perfection, and the endless night giving way to the morbid

death of a friend. But I truly did love her.

No! I screamed in my head, as he faded away, the concomitants lost along.

I struggled for every gasp of air, as my chest straightened in a spastic surrender.

Every effort, reduced me to the floor, draining me of every ounce of sanity left within, as I held, against his will.

Vicarious and random epiphanies hit me, as I lay on the floor. Waiting, for my mind to clear.

I had, I thought, fought it off.

Later that night, I slit her throat, and all was well again.

Silence.

As i walked away from him,

and away, from the child of my intricate nurturing, that I had longed so much for years,

I feel exultant. My darkness revealed, as my shadow, embraced itself.

He no longer laughs, nor taunts nor provokes.

Looks like, he has finally made his peace with me.

Euthanasia

As I wait, for sleep to coil me in its stoic silence every night,
I stare out, of my bedside window, to see the nefarious street light,
Taking away the one thing that I so long for.

Inveighing, against its placement in my mind, I stare on,
Knowing not, what I would be drawn into, come sunrise.

I pray for sleep, to surround me in all its euphemism,
And feed me, reality, only expurgated, to keep me, from losing my mind.

A car passes by. Maybe two.
The silence disturbed, for a few moments, beating back consciousness,
to a stopped heart, beating without cause.

I look out at the night, the endemic spreading through me,
As it coils me in its web, and puts me painlessly, to sleep.